


"... And Knowing Is Half the Battle"

by Devilc



Series: MCU Earth 19999.5 [4]
Category: Gifted (Movie 2017), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Push (2009)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25177381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devilc/pseuds/Devilc
Summary: Apparently the way to defeat Thanos is to stroll through an active combat zone, all black leather jacket, snug jeans, and scowl, a length of rebar slung over your shoulder, Loki trailing behind you ....Or, how the Infinity War ended on Earth 19999.5
Series: MCU Earth 19999.5 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/985509
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19
Collections: Con*Strict 2020 Virtual Zine





	"... And Knowing Is Half the Battle"

**Author's Note:**

> You really should read the rest of the work in this series before you dive into this bit of crack fic, which is a labor of love and not lucre, written to bring smiles to faces while we are all stuck in the shittiest timeline.
> 
> (Title is a hat tip to G.I. Joe.)

Apparently the way to defeat Thanos is to stroll through an active combat zone, all black leather jacket, snug jeans, and scowl, a length of rebar slung over your shoulder, Loki trailing behind you, while you use one hand to wave away bullets like they're gnats in your backyard, and as soon as Thanos glances over to see the who the other Steve looking guy is, you use your "talents" to toss a brick of industrial diamond grit into his face and sandblast him with it, which distracts him just long enough for you to use the remainder of your mental powers to drive that rebar through his head from ear to ear and bend the ends around to hold it in place. 

That doesn't actually kill Thanos, but it inconveniences him _juuuuuust_ long enough for Steve and Thor to finish the job while the Steve looking guy stands there flicking away any bullets or monsters that come too close. 

(Okay, Loki got a few shivvings in there for good measure -- Bucky will totally give him that, but it was Steve and Thor who really finished the job.) 

They all stand there for a moment when it's done, panting and covered with blood and dirt before Steve manages to look at Loki and croak, "How am I still here if _he's_ here?" 

"Frank Adler," Loki replies a little breathlessly, as he's crushed by Thor's exuberant ("You're alive!" "Of course I'm alive, I faked my death! God of Mischief and all that!") bear hug. "I swapped him for -- what _is_ your name?"

"Nick," the slightly slimmer and darker look alike replies, flinging a charging group of large ugly beasts away with a tiny move of his finger. "Nick Gant."

~oo(0)oo~

In the aftermath, it's Bucky who sits across the kitchen table from Nick, who is more exhausted than he wants to let on. Bucky scoots a cold beer over, followed a moment later by a huge "everything" sandwich. (Bless Roberta for always keeping a well stocked fridge.)

"Thanks," Nick replies before he tears into the food.

Bucky studies him for a moment. It's not so much that he's darker and a little slimmer than Steve, it's that there's something _hard_ about Nick.

Nick wolfs down most of the sandwich before he glances around the kitchen, and says, "So, this is where my look alike lives?" He takes a huge gulp of beer.

Bucky smiles and cracks his own beer open. "Yeah, both of them. Steve, and Frank -- the guy who's in your reality."

Nick pops the last of the sandwich into his mouth and washes it down with the rest of the beer. "How long before they fix that portal generator you told me about?" 

(Loki, being Loki, blinked away as soon as Thor stopped hugging him. Probably for the best.)

For a guy who should be riding the glow of having just saved the world (even if it's not his own), Nick seems a little restless and distracted. Fidgety, even. 

Bucky blows out a long breath. "I'm thinking a day or three at most. There are … other priorities …." He idly reaches down and skritches Fred, who has been relentlessly head-butting his ankles. 

"I get that," Nick says, an edge to his words. Then, softer, "My wife's water broke just before Loki showed. I hope Frank's got sure hands."

 _Ohhhhh._ After a moment, Bucky replies, "Frank's the other best guy I know after Steve and T'Challa. Your wife's in good hands, and," he puts a bright note in his voice, "it's not Frank's first time helping a woman in labor."

Nick nods in acceptance, looking a hair less anxious. "I was hoping that Cassie would be wrong, but it is what it is." Despite the food, exhaustion is hitting him hard, and that beer has only added to it. "I mean it's good to know that Frank --" A jawcracking yawn cuts the words off. He shakes his head and scrubs his hands through his hair. "Let's get my teeth brushed and show me to the couch." He extends a hand and a rucksack comes from the other room into it. He reaches in and fishes out a toothbrush case and some toothpaste along with a clean T-shirt and shorts. At Bucky's glance he says, "I left it here when Loki swapped me in."

"But … how?"

Nick cuts him off with another yawn and, "I'll explain later." 

He's half asleep as soon as he's finished with his teeth and out like a light as soon as he lays down.

~oo(0)oo~

Roberta and Mary come back from the emergency shelter the next afternoon. In the glimpses that Bucky gets of Mary in between his shifts helping with repair and recovery, he sees her cycle through being worried about Frank, being confident that Princess Shuri can fix the machine and bring Frank back, and cutting up a lot of carrot sticks in an effort to help Roberta. Roberta, bless her, has her food truck up and running, prepping meals for the crews who are working to get Wakanda back on its feet.

Nick is also on one of those crews, pulling 12 hour shifts, using his ability as a "mover" to, well, move things, or stop them from moving if that's what's needed. "Figure if I'm going to ask for asylum for me, my wife, our kid, and maybe my mother in law -- Cassie wasn't sure about that -- I'd best show what I bring to the table." He shovels Roberta's succotash in, "This is amazing, and not just because I'm hungry," before gesturing broadly at the horizon which is littered with the wreckage of Thanos's ships and the piled bodies of his dead, "Still … if your world has this kind of stuff going on, we might be better off staying where we are. Things can be pretty bad, don't get me wrong, but …"

Bucky considers saying something, but given the damage he caused to the greater Washington DC area, not to mention that airport in Germany, and the facility in the former Soviet Union …? Finally he settles on, "Frank, Mary, and Roberta have no complaints and they were just everyday people in their reality. Wakanda is pretty quiet most of the time."

"Well, that just blows, then" grumbles the talking raccoon who showed up with Thor, a moment before he plops down next to Bucky and starts snarfing down a bowl of Roberta's hoppin john. "Nothin' interesting here if it's just peace and quiet." He licks the bowl clean, belches, and continues, "But Groot and I will definitely have to come back for this food truck, even if the hush puppies aren't made of puppies."

~oo(0)oo~

Two days later, Shuri gets the machine up and running, and he, Nick, Sam, and Steve step through to retrieve Frank, Cassie, and (hopefully) a baby.

~oo(0)oo~

Turns out, not only was Frank an excellent labor coach during a labor spent on the run from government agents trying to catch Cassie, but he made a no shit diving catch of the baby girl now nestled in Cassie's arms as Cassie was exiting a car to get into a safe house.

Cassie's also about 10 years younger than Nick, but their body language says they've lived in each other's pockets for years, and it's clear from Nick's adoring looks that he worships the ground she walks on. He is over the moon about his daughter, whose name is Frances Nicole.

Mary glomps Frank as soon as she sees him, and bounces with joy when she sees the baby, who is her cousin, by the way, because Nick is Frank and Frank is Nick. Based on that logic, Sam volunteers Steve for 3am diaper duty, because Steve is Nick and Nick is Steve, so that also makes him the baby's dad … "But not a husband," Nick chimes in.

Alas, Cassie's mother won't be joining them today … but apparently that's going to happen next week if some hastily sketched stick figures in a notebook are anything to go by. According to Cassie, he, Sam, Steve, Nat and T'challa will use the machine to break into the special prison where a corrupt government is holding her.

Later, as they head back to their compound (which is probably getting another wing added on real soon) Frank describes how, when Loki popped him over to Nick and Cassie's world, "It's like they knew or something." He points at Nick. "He was on the couch, with a bag ready to go and a length of rebar propped against the wall. They weren't very surprised at all."

Nick doesn't say anything but his eyes sparkle as Cassie grins impishly and says, "Let's just say I've got a knack for knowing how things are going to play out. Comes in handy."


End file.
